The wisest woman I know (my mother) once taught me a very valuable lesson about love and self-respect. I’ve decided that it is just too good to keep to myself.
[DISCLAIMER: I would like to apologize in advance to any Ford Focus owners/drivers. I am using this vehicle as an example, simply to prove a point. I do not in any way look down on people who drive this car, own this car, or like this car. Hell, I don’t have the right to hate on any vehicle in my current (car-less) state, so please don’t take this the wrong way.]
I am never a proponent of the objectification of women, but for the sake of the simile, let’s examine two types of cars.
First, you have the Ford Focus.
While the Focus is a decent vehicle, and is going to ultimately get you where you want to go, it’s not very expensive. It doesn’t require much to obtain said vehicle. No one is going to look at you, pushing your Focus, and say “Oh, you fancy, huh?” As my mother would put it, anybody can get a Focus. Nobody’s going to care if you kick your Focus when you get upset, or leave it in the snow over Winter Break, or let the battery die out in a parking lot. It’s not a symbol of status, it’s a symbol of necessity. It’s not extremely popular, not extremely sought after, and gets pretty good gas mileage.
Next, let’s look at the BMW M3.
The BMW M3 is a nice ass vehicle. It’s not only going to get you where you want to go, but you’re going to get there in style. The Beemer is going to cost you a pretty penny, but you knew that when you went to buy it. And you’re willing to pay that price, because you know that when you pull up to the party, people are going to immediately recognize your swag. You’re going to turn heads in the street. Everyone who knows you will figure, you must have your stuff together if you can afford such a whip. Even if it’s not their car, people are going to make sure you don’t mistreat a BMW. Their not going to let you drive it around dirty, or hide it in the garage. The Beemer is a status symbol, a success symbol, and shows that you not only like nice things, but that you’re willing to take care of them.
How does this relate to women? (If you haven’t made the connection already.)
Ladies, don’t be the Focus; be the Beemer.
There should be an element of exclusivity to you; not everybody and anybody should be able to obtain you. Anyone who pursues you should know that you are going to cost them something; it is going to take some effort to obtain you. People aren’t even going to try to step to you unless they have their shit together, because they know you’re not accepting just any application. People are going to work on themselves to make sure they measure up to you, and you’re going to make people want to be about their business. Any guy (or girl, depending on what you’re into) who manages to occupy your interest is going to want to show you off because it will be a testament to their status, their success, their intellect, etc. And when they roll up to a party with you on their arm, people are going to automatically give them respect, because they must be doing something right, if they’ve got you. The Beemer may cost more for gas and maintenance, but if you’re a Beemer, he’s going to be willing to pay that cost because they understand that you’re worth it. Also, if you’re a Beemer, your friends (as well as his) aren’t just going to let him treat you any kind of way. They’re going to call him out when he’s acting crazy, and check him when he comes at you wrong. They’re going to remind him (if he does forget what kind of quality vehicle he has) that he can’t just treat you like any old Focus, because there are plenty of other drivers who would be willing to take much better care of you.
Put simply, Focuses are approached during booty call hours by people only interested in driving their mileage up, denting their bumper, and then leaving them, used, in the back of some vacant lot with a scribbled For Sale sign in their rearview window; Beemers are courted during business hours by people with dreams and ambitions, who are looking for a vehicle that indicates their hard work and their style. Beemers are washed, waxed, and protected; they are not dented, they are not driven by untrustworthy friends and family members, they are not parked near the shopping cart corals at Wal-Mart because their drivers are not going to risk them being even slightly damaged. They are respected, they are highly regarded, and they are kept around for the foreseeable future.
Also, I would like to note that some of us females have the ability to be Beemers, but we allow ourselves to be treated like Fords. We look like M3s on the outside, fine and shiny and sleek and sexy; but you get us behind closed doors and we act like Focuses, with no standards for our suitors. On the contrary, some women appear as if they should be taking whatever comes their way on looks alone, but they hold their heads up high and they refuse anyone who even hints of scrub tendencies. These personas are a mindset, not a physicality.
I would also like to note that, in some cases, he may be trying to gauge which category you fall into. Do not be afraid to check him when he initially fails to give you the M3 treatment; if you don’t, you will inevitably become a Focus.
I know I did not cover all of the bases (or put it nearly as wisely as my mother did); feel free to add to what I’ve written, or even disagree. But this is how I was taught. I hope that at least one person will read this and start commanding the respect they deserve.
P.s. I don’t know much about cars, so if the references I used were kind of off, forgive me.